Goat Song

I mean… we stood there on the Orme, we stood there and stood there…

I mean… sometimes we posed against boulders, near primroses, framed ourselves against the sea,

I mean… where were they? – with all their cars, and camper vans and camera phones and oldies with white hair, just like us.

I mean… in the end no choice but to go down, we were curious, the quiet spooked us.

I mean… it was seriously weird on the pier – no fishing rods, no go-karts, no slotties, shutters up. No nothing.

I mean… the Prom was empty at 6am, just seagulls moaning about lack of crusts, batter and stale chips.

I mean… there’s only so much grass you can eat and there were such juicy flowers in that B n B’s front garden.

I mean… perhaps Kazzie went too far jumping on that front wall and taking us down clattering down back streets like Goats-Nite-Out.

I mean… after we ate the new leaves on the trees at the Comprehensive, we started to see the signs.

I mean… we had no choice but to copy them, but if you’d told me this months ago…

I mean… Kashmir goats doing social distancing??…

But… ‘course we’ve gotta set a good example ‘cos now we’ve gone viral, we’re flaming celebrities.

First published in April 2020 on Burnage Library’s website

Image: Tom Pennington